I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible.
Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.
Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.
But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.
And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.
We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.
We never know when the bus is coming.”
Numbness means that you have somehow learned not to feel pain and not to feel pleasure. The whole society helps you to become dumb, deaf, blind, dead.
Only dull people can be dominated, oppressed. Only dull people can be ordered to go here and there, to do this and that. Only dull people are needed by society because dull people are very efficient, they don’t have any mind, they are not dangerous. Dull people are very convenient. Dull people drag their whole life.
A sensitive person would prefer to die than to become a slave, because slavery is possible only if you are so dull that you don’t feel the humiliation at all. And society needs slaves, all kinds of slaves; from the peon to the president, all kinds of slaves are needed. The only guarantee for having so many slaves is to destroy peoples’ capacity to feel, to be aware, to see. Their whole clarity has to be messed up so they cannot see, they cannot feel. Then naturally they go on accepting any kind of state, just to survive they go on accepting all kinds of humiliations. They are ready to exist below the human level.”